- End The Cycle Of Negativity -
It’s easy to point out the fault in others, or to blame others for there behaviour, but can you observe the faults in your own way of thinking? In your own behaviour? We often judge others because of our own insecurities. This is an unconscious act of course, or else it is unlikely that we would continue to do it. We see someone with a weird haircut or strange clothes in our mind we judge them for that. Why? Because we are insecure about our own appearance, and pointing out the flaws in others takes the attention away from our own shortcomings. We are only making them seem like less so that we can feel like more, we can feel like validated and superior.
Generally, our judgement of others is an extension of self judgement; and the self judgement is so ingrained, so normal. We don’t even recognize it. We allow our self judgement to dominate our experience, and hold us back from living life freely in each moment. We are worried about what others will think of us, but this is really just us judging ourselves. This inner judgement reflects itself as outer judgement, causing us to judge, criticize, and compare ourselves to those around us. Try to notice in yourself when this judgement takes place. When you catch yourself having a defining thought about someone, step back and ask, “what do I really know about this person?” Often, the answer is version of ” not very much.” This behaviour acts as a pattern interrupt, and forces you to stop and consider where the judgement is coming from.
Perhaps you can also reflect on that judgement and think: ” do I myself exhibit this same behaviour or attitude that I judge in this person?” Almost always answer is yes ( not that one always comes to that yes easily). Often the stuff that irritates us the most about others trend to be attributes we don’t necessarily realize we ourselves have.
Practice being aware of the patterns that exist in your mind, especially pattern of judgement towards yourself or others. Once you become aware of these patterns you can separate yourself from them, and you can then replace them with new patterns. It all begins with awareness.
“Love is absence of judgement.”